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May 08, 2007

A Meme for Me

When I was a kid, my aunt made a Friendship Cake that you can't do without a fermented starter.  It was so good -- with the flavor you can only get from crispy, caramelized pineapple.

Now, via Jerry's interview via Jenny's interview via someone I don't know, a new meme: somebody asks questions, and you answer.  And then you make questions for someone else.  Kind of nice, huhn?  Kind of like a slam book, but not really.  Not at all.

Below, Jerry's music-themed questions and my replies:

1: What is this thing called love?

In Matt Groening's Love Is Hell, I think the dialogue goes: "Who wrote the book of love?" Answer: "Some goddam liar, that's who."  As for me, all I know is to keep paraphrasing Thomas Moore who suggests in Soul Mates that it's more important to consider love as something you do rather than something you feel.

2: What difference does it make?

Much, I think.  Many, in speaking of marriage, refer to the role and value of commitment.  You commit to loving someone, not to being in love.  If "feeling" in love was a requisite for people staying married, divorce would be something you could take care of at the DMV, in the express line.  Modestly related: my friend John gave a copy of Love Is Hell as a first gift to his new girlfriend Stacy.  They have been married for ~fifteen years, now.

3: How can you mend a broken heart?

If you're Denis Leary, you do it by shooting the rest of the brothers Gibb.  If you're me, you do it by outliving the pain.  And by not binding the ego so tightly to the heartbreak that when your heart is ready to mend, your will doesn't keep you trapped in the sadness (where you once told yourself, "this is my home forever, if my love is really true.")

4: Are you experienced?

At loving?  Maybe.  At being in love? I don't think so.

5: Who are you?

Some guy who wishes (he thinks) that he were a little more experienced.  (And who is wondering whether he'll leave this horribly revealing blog online for more than 48 hours.)

So if you want to play along and now be interviewed by me, please leave me a comment or send an email saying: "Interview me."
     * I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
     * You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
     * You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
     * Then others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions and so on.

By the way, I'd looove to write questions for anyone, so don't be shy.

12:17 AM in Misc.Blog 2007 | Permalink

Comments

Interview me, please.

And please leave this post up. It is real and it made me think. I'll bet it makes others think, too.

Posted by: Lisa | May 8, 2007 2:01:22 AM

P.S. This is going to sound really strange, but this post also freaked me out because I was just at dinner tonight with my good friend from high school who now lives in Charlotte, NC, and some of her co-workers, all of whom are in Dallas on business. One of her colleagues is a cute and cool girl who also works in Charlotte. While we chatted about dating and such, I asked her how far Charlotte is from Raleigh-Durham and told her I knew of this great guy in Raleigh-Durham. Were your ears burning, Phil?

Posted by: Lisa | May 8, 2007 3:45:22 AM

Great answers! And it's revealing but in a very good way.

Posted by: Marianne | May 8, 2007 7:48:29 AM

Excellent answers. I didn't even necessarily mean for all the questions to refer to "love," even though that precedent was set by the first question. Thanks for playing. Our participation in memes is what's keeping the Internet from dying.

Posted by: Jerry | May 8, 2007 8:52:11 PM

not to be all contrarian, Phil - but this meme is not new. variants of the "interview me" meme have been going around for years. I remember interviewing and being interviewed by blog-people that have now vanished through the mists of time.

Posted by: pinky | May 10, 2007 5:21:03 PM

Pinky -- I'm sad to say that this isn't the first time I've been caught at being late to catch on...

Next week, though, I'm going to a scintillating series on this new thing called "Web 2.0" (that's pronounced "two-point-oh"). Just remember that you heard it here first!

Posted by: Phil | May 10, 2007 9:29:05 PM

Good stuff, Phil.

If the offer's still valid, "interview me," please, and we'll try to spread some memely goodness across the old series of tubes (2.0).

Posted by: Barry Campbell | May 12, 2007 8:57:37 AM

Five questions for Barry (at http://enrevanche.blogspot.com/), on the theme of personal evolution, with my best talk-show-host voice:

Question 1.
Think back to 1983, when we were still in high school (where you introduced me to the word “disseminate” through your role as editor of one of our school journals). What parts of your personality or wisdom were newly emerging and/or solidifying back then – things that you consider to be important parts of your nature today, 24 years later?

Question 2.
In two elegant entries, you’ve written about your dad, his life, and his passing:

http://enrevanche.blogspot.com/2005/06/fathers-day-at-nursing-home.html
http://enrevanche.blogspot.com/2006/06/for-dad.html

Are there any big decisions you’ve made in this life that you think were particularly influenced by something your dad had taught you through word or example? When you made the decision(s), were you aware at the time of how your father was influencing you? How did the decision(s) turn out?

Question 3.
How do you think your mother and father influenced each other through the years? Do you reckon their influence over each other was more via the way each of them was an example to the other, or via the way they treated each other? And – inasmuch as you’d like to answer – how did their ways inform your own in your first marriage, and now in this marriage with Carrie?

Question 4.
In the previous questions, I realize that there’s a common theme of “how and where do we form our outlook?” and “how does our outlook influence how we act?”

Your Blogspot profile speaks a little to this: “I'm not one to look behind, I know that times must change / But over there in Barrytown they do things very strange...”

That said, do you have a method to how you learn and how you act? As a strong thinker, I know that it’s within your means to have developed a personal philosophy that you might use as daily guidance. At the same time, I don’t mean to presume that you don’t also draw from intuition, or that you don’t live like many of us do – playing from what seems to feel right at the time, based on a combination of rational thought, emotion, impulse, and the path of least resistance.

Question 5.
Lastly, do you think you’ll ever get to a place where your combination of conservative, libertarian, and other ideals coalesce into something you’d consider a uniform and consistent philosophy? And would it be a philosophy that’s actually livable in this human world populated by ourselves, some decent people, and a whole lot of idiots?

Extra credit: how does wearing a necktie fit into all of this?

Posted by: Phil | May 17, 2007 9:12:37 PM

Five questions, answered.

Posted by: Barry Campbell | May 18, 2007 6:43:51 AM

Barry's questions were really good ones, and really reflected knowing him in some depth. I'll offer if you desire--seems to me that Normblog's great interviews shouldn't be unique to the 'sphere.

Not that I'm going to do it, but it would also be neat to see all these in one place!

Posted by: Chap | May 18, 2007 10:52:15 PM