Apr 26, 2006
The Key to Success Is...
But don't forget the other twenty percent, which sometimes involves having the housekey.
Tonight while housesitting: I brought the dog outside for a pee and shut the door behind me. Oops. After a while I found an unlocked window and let myself and the dog in, and all was well up until I remembered that I had forgotten the dog's leather leash outside in the rain.
Went back to get it. Shut the door behind me. Oops.
Fortunately, I hadn't locked the window.
Unfortunately, the dog (did I mention the part about the dog?) is extremely territorial and didn't like the idea of some semi-stranger climbing into the house through a window (right above her dog bed, by coincidence). Did I mention the part about the dog being a German Shepherd?
OKOK. I'm just kidding about the last part (the territorial part, not the German Shepherd part). All's well. And tomorrow I think I'm going to get a dupe key made in case I do something stupid like this again.*
Image yoinked from here where you can find out why the pictured keyring costs $50.
*Doesn't the story sound like something that the Dick van Dyke Show could have done well?
Oh, Phil. I guess it's the Dick-Van-Dyke-Show-iness of that story that makes it so funny.
When we first moved into the first house we bought, one Saturday my dad came over to see the new place. My dad, out of habit, locked the knob lock on the door when he came in, because he's just a door-locking sort of guy--but I'm more of a deadbolt-locking-only sort of gal. We went out to look at the swimming pool and closed the door behind us. Locked out. All other doors, of course, locked. Very secure windows. Luckily, he had his car keys in his pocket, so we drove to where my spouse was to get his key, and had ice cream while we were out. So I guess I should thank my dad for that, because if he hadn't locked that door we wouldn't have had the ice cream.
But your story was way more Dick-Van-Dyke-y than mine. God I loved that show, even if I did used to think Rob and Laura Petrie lived in a brainy NY suburb called "Neurochelle."
Posted by: minty | Apr 26, 2006 9:59:18 AM
HA! That's something I would do. Totally.
Toby, the dog I sit for has a protective streak, especially when he's tired. If he's lying near you, and someone approaches? He sounds like a devil-dog thats going to rip. their. throat. out. if they come aaaaaaannny nearer.
Once I brought the tobster over to my house and took a little nap, with toby lying down beside the bed. R. was messing with the circuits for some reason. He needed to turn them back on, and, as luck would have it, the breakers are located in my room. He hurried in to my room, and Toby ATTACKED! Woke me right up. I screamed and called Toby off of R. Luckily Toby's idea of attacking means growl really fiercely and lunge, but when you get to the person, just nudge their hand with your nose.
Posted by: Stewpants/Jenny P./Lastewie | Apr 26, 2006 10:21:30 AM
"Neurochelle" Tee hee, that's great.
So can you guess what I did this morning? Huhn? Huhn?! Fortunately for me, I predicted such a thing and last night I unlocked the (high) bathroom window after I re-locked the TV-room window. So anyway, Sir McCartney. "[S]he came in through the bathroom window."
Jenny -- your attack dog reminds me of the joke about the man and polar bear that ends "Tag, you're it!"
Posted by: Phil | Apr 26, 2006 10:56:31 AM
Phil, you are so good at leaving punchlines to jokes I don't know.
Posted by: Stewpants/Jenny P./Lastewie | Apr 26, 2006 11:31:24 AM
A Polar Bear goes into a bar and says, "Can I have a gin and..........
(Several minutes later) ........tonic please?"
The barman serves him and says, "Sure, but why the large pause?"
Polar Bear says, "Don't know, I've always had them."
For more Polar Bear jokes:
But for the life of me I can't find the one with "Tag, you're it" as the punchline.
Posted by: Stewpants/Jenny P./Lastewie | Apr 26, 2006 12:06:38 PM
The only touch missing is the friendly neighborhood policeman on foot patrol shining his flashlight on your waggling butt and legs protruding from the bathroom window. And the laugh track. Oh wait...I think we already have that.
Posted by: marianne | Apr 27, 2006 7:21:55 AM
So, um, a year later -- a response to Jenny's question about the "tag, you're it!" punchline.
A guy notices a classified ad for a pet polar bear and so of course he buys it. The guy selling the bear says, "I'm sorry we have to part ways, but I'm doing a lot of traveling now and can't give him proper care. He's a great pet -- lots of fun and very gentle. But whatever you do, DON'T TOUCH HIS NOSE!".
So the new owner takes the polar bear home and all is well for several weeks until curiosity gets the best of him, and he decided to touch polar bear on the nose.
In an instant, the bear is up on its hind legs, roaring like mad, and chasing the man all around the house. Slinging furniture left and right, the man manages to keep away from the polar bear until he's finally trapped in a corner. Growling, drooling, massive paws in the air, the polar bear steps closer... And then... the bear touches the man on the nose and says "Tag, you're it!"
Tee hee :-)
Posted by: Phil | Nov 26, 2007 2:27:28 AM